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The mental health outcomes for people with chronic fatigue are worse than many other major illnesses. I think this is because of a range of factors, including isolation, loneliness, lack of hope, and no real treatment options. You'll find a study here: https://www.healthrising.org/blog/2015/08/05/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-worse-mulitple-sclerosis-cancer/
So as I journey through my chronic fatigue experience, I am even more conscious of how to keep my mental health out of the toilet, because I know that many of my fellow sufferers would rather have cancer than CFS.
That's why, I think, I burst into tears today. Our church has always had a weekend away, a weekend where we would get together, eat (sometimes sub-optimal) food, fellowship, listen to talks, chat, swim, play, etc. But next year it's not happening. We're not going away. We're going to do what many churches have already done, and stay at home.
Of course that makes sense for many families. Why eat food from a servery, when you can cook your own to the tastes of your family? Why pay $500 to go away for 2 days to a campsite where the walls are thinner than your arteries? Why bother when half the church community doesn't even come?
But for me, to be honest, it's devastating. Last week I ate 21 meals across the week - breakfast, lunch and dinner. I ate 21 meals alone. I didn't eat with another soul, other than my ferrets.
For single people, who live alone, I suspect this is quite common. Normally I do manage to eat lunch with others at least once a week - last week was a bit unusual because of a major event and also because I had meetings at lunch time instead. I usually eat a dinner once a week with my friend and her family, but they couldn't do it last week. So I ate 21 meals alone.
Weekends away are special to me because I don't eat alone - I get to eat with families and couples, and other single people, and kids. I don't get to do that normally. I get to play in the pool with kids - I don't get to do that normally. I get to sit around with other women and chat. I don't get to do that normally. And I get to play games and have fellowship. I don't get to do that normally.
Before I got sick, I helped out on 2 weekend aways per year - the youth camp and the kids camp. I got to eat with other people. I got to hang out with others.
Now I'm sick I can't do that.
Before I got sick, I used to go out at least several times during the week, after work, or on the weekends. Now I'm reduced to one social thing on Saturday, and maybe something on Sunday, if I can, although it's risky.
Last weekend I went out for lunch on Sunday despite not feeling well, and I couldn't get out of bed Monday.
Last January, I got invited to go away with 5 families and their 15 children. That was wonderful because I got to eat and hang out with them.
New College, the place I spent 3.5 years living in, had a weekend away also in late January, and I went. I realised what I loved best about living there was the fellowship - the regular people always around. It wasn't the same going back - very few of us were even staying, and the ones that were I didn't know. They were different generations to me.
So yeah, I can see why mental health outcomes for people with CFS are so poor. And I can see why I'm particularly vulnerable. And I can see why I need to keep trying to meet up with people. And I can see why I cried today.
So as I journey through my chronic fatigue experience, I am even more conscious of how to keep my mental health out of the toilet, because I know that many of my fellow sufferers would rather have cancer than CFS.
That's why, I think, I burst into tears today. Our church has always had a weekend away, a weekend where we would get together, eat (sometimes sub-optimal) food, fellowship, listen to talks, chat, swim, play, etc. But next year it's not happening. We're not going away. We're going to do what many churches have already done, and stay at home.
Of course that makes sense for many families. Why eat food from a servery, when you can cook your own to the tastes of your family? Why pay $500 to go away for 2 days to a campsite where the walls are thinner than your arteries? Why bother when half the church community doesn't even come?
But for me, to be honest, it's devastating. Last week I ate 21 meals across the week - breakfast, lunch and dinner. I ate 21 meals alone. I didn't eat with another soul, other than my ferrets.
For single people, who live alone, I suspect this is quite common. Normally I do manage to eat lunch with others at least once a week - last week was a bit unusual because of a major event and also because I had meetings at lunch time instead. I usually eat a dinner once a week with my friend and her family, but they couldn't do it last week. So I ate 21 meals alone.
Weekends away are special to me because I don't eat alone - I get to eat with families and couples, and other single people, and kids. I don't get to do that normally. I get to play in the pool with kids - I don't get to do that normally. I get to sit around with other women and chat. I don't get to do that normally. And I get to play games and have fellowship. I don't get to do that normally.
Before I got sick, I helped out on 2 weekend aways per year - the youth camp and the kids camp. I got to eat with other people. I got to hang out with others.
Now I'm sick I can't do that.
Before I got sick, I used to go out at least several times during the week, after work, or on the weekends. Now I'm reduced to one social thing on Saturday, and maybe something on Sunday, if I can, although it's risky.
Last weekend I went out for lunch on Sunday despite not feeling well, and I couldn't get out of bed Monday.
Last January, I got invited to go away with 5 families and their 15 children. That was wonderful because I got to eat and hang out with them.
New College, the place I spent 3.5 years living in, had a weekend away also in late January, and I went. I realised what I loved best about living there was the fellowship - the regular people always around. It wasn't the same going back - very few of us were even staying, and the ones that were I didn't know. They were different generations to me.
So yeah, I can see why mental health outcomes for people with CFS are so poor. And I can see why I'm particularly vulnerable. And I can see why I need to keep trying to meet up with people. And I can see why I cried today.
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