It is there

“How’s that thing going?”, my church friend asked. 
That thing. Fatigue. Post-viral fatigue. 14 months of changed life and counting. 
How’s it going? Well, it’s there. It’s there in the throbbing pain I get in my neck glands in the afternoon most days. It’s there when I roll out my yoga mat and lie down for 12 minutes every work morning. It’s there as I come home and order takeaway again even though I have frozen meals in the fridge. It’s there when I plan to exercise but work gets busy and takes all my exercise jumping beans away. It’s there as I drag my weary body to the bus stop each day. It’s there. 
But then, it’s not there. It’s not there as I get to swim and feel the sleek power of my muscles sort of return. It’s not there as I clock up another week of full time work this year. It’s not there as I drag my unfit and overweight body into the gym filled with svelte young things. It’s not there as I peg out my washing, cos now that’s possible again, or I clean my shower recess, or I scrub my toilet, or I wash my dishes. 
Never again will I take energy for granted. Energy to move and to exercise, energy to clean and to bake, energy to wash and to scrub. 
There’s some energy there. It’s not back to me 15 months ago. But still, it is there.

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