What a weariness of week!
Dear readers,
Since I last wrote, we have had the funeral. In case you didn't already know, it went very well. Well, sort of. I mean, how can a funeral go "very well"?
Very well: The gospel was preached. The hymns were beautiful. The readings were 2 of my favourites, pointing to hope of life after death. The eulogy was lovely. My singing was adequate, even good, given the occasion. I swear that God was looking after me, and upholding me with all the prayers of my friends. I cried up until about 5 minutes before the eulogy, and cried again once my song was complete. But in between I held it together. The hardest gig of all is to sing at a funeral, and harder still is to sing at a beloved relative's funeral. But yay, I did it!
The 3 relative pillars of my life - my aunt/cousins/rest of Mum's relatives, my Dad/rest of Dad's relatives, my Mum/sister, didn't really interact or fight at the funeral. It was such a relief for me and also for my aunt.
So, since then, I have been fairly wiped out. I drove back on Tuesday afternoon and got home by 5. I was in bed by 6, and asleep by 7pm. I slept for about 11.5 hours. I hadn't really slept well the night before, 5 hours maybe, and of course I was in a strange bed and my brother is an early riser.
Wednesday I got to work by 8am and worked until 7pm. Unfortunately my boss wouldn't let me get out of the manager's meeting, which meant that I was still finishing off things. Bible study was cancelled which was a blessing because I had so much to prepare. After that I went to the gym for about 40 minutes - just did the treadmill really.
Thursday I was training senior leaders. I have only run this training once before, and knew it needed a fair bit of revision, so I had spent a lot of Wednesday afternoon and evening preparing and revising the content. The workshop itself went quite well. I only had 4 leaders I was training so it wasn't very difficult, more conversational, plus I was feeling so relieved from the released tension from the days before.
I finished training the senior leaders by about 3, and then came back to the office to prepare for the next day's training. There wasn't so much preparation, as I have run that training a number of times and am more familiar with the content. I would like to do an overall of the training content, but every time I run out of time as that takes a lot more preparation time than I usually have. Anyway, I still got out of the office by 5.30pm and then caught the bus home. I needed to buy my Mum a birthday present, and I'd been thinking for a while that a book on architecture might be nice, as well as Alain De Botton's The Architecture of Happiness. Anyway, I went via Dymocks at Maroubra and had to fight my way through this "happiness" club. It was a bit bizarre. I then picked up some dinner on the way home (chicken pad see ew) and left it at home while I went for a swim. I'm trying to swim twice a week, but the local pool is only open until 8pm and until 7pm there are no lanes. Of course, UNSW would be better but it's further away and I still have to find parking.
The local pool does the whole chlorine thing badly (Dad, you're much better at it!) and so you can't really swim without goggles. I did about 1.5km but was feeling very sluggish and not very energised. They started putting the covers over the pool which made me feel like they didn't want me to be in there, but I doggedly stuck it out until 7.50pm, when I drove home, had a shower, and ate my dinner (now cooled to a more pleasant warm temperature).
On Thursday night I couldn't sleep, maybe because of the exercise - not sure, so I was up until after 2. Nevertheless, I got up on Friday and was at work by 8.30am. I prepared the final stages of the training with the senior leader who was coming along, and then we headed over to the training. This training went longer and so I didn't finish until 4, and then I did admin-email type stuff until about 5.20pm before heading to the work drinks/dinner at the Madison. I left there about 7.15pm and caught the bus home. Once again, I didn't sleep very well, so once asleep I slept until about 10. Then I got up for a while and chatted to my flatmate, while I ate the yoghurt and muesli (about the only 2 things edible that weren't core ingredients) left in my house. I resolved to do grocery shopping, but then I was so tired I slept for another hour before going to church music practice (I was slightly late because I bought a loaf of bread and some milk at the local petrol station).
I was there until 5ish and then drove home. I slept for another nap and then watched TV. I got to sleep at a more normal time and so woke up at 7.30am this morning.
So far I've done some washing, played with the ferrets, tried on some clothes a friend from work gave me, and checked the internet (FB, Twitter and blogs), and read the supplement in today's paper. Oh, and had breakfast.
Now I need to change over the washing and clean out the ferret stuff, before perhaps starting some study. I'm doing a 3 week online course in student development, which I haven't looked at since before the funeral, and also my PTC, which is of course weeks behind where I should be (what's new?).
Lol.
On other news, Sydney Anglicans had a very good article on Power in Relationships. It's my Mum's birthday, and for the first time since she moved to Sydney, I'm not spending it with her. She's barely talking to me, which is fine, but man, I got so mad with her. I'm so glad she can't bully my grandma anymore. In the article, I recognise behaviour from both of us:
1. Withholding/silent treatment - I do this because it's the only way she listens to me, not that she does, but I try it anyway.
2. Discounting - she does this with my Christianity and my life in general and my father.
3. Accusation and blame. She's always accusing me and blaming me.
4. Judging and criticising.
5. Ordering
6. Threatening.
No wonder our relationship is not healthy. I rang her this morning, and she said she was concerned about me, and that I needed to see a counsellor. I'm ok. She's right about the counsellor, but she's also mostly the cause of the need for the counsellor!!
Sick of it.
CASE had a really good blogpost on Simon & Garfunkel, which I thought was extremely timely given the song I sang on Tuesday.
In other news, Duncan's blog also linked to a good article on Michael Jackson's life. It amazes me the way we seek fame, but it so often destroys.
And finally, 2 awesome things coming up. My friend J is planning a holiday to NZ at the end of August, so I am going to go too. And my friend B has asked me to be her bridesmaid! I have never been a bridesmaid, and it's one of the great sorrows of my life. Not that the role itself is fun or easy, but because I wasn't close enough to anyone to be asked**. But my friend B has asked!!
(** I should say, though, that I'm often the "singer" at the wedding, which is also a privilege I don't take lightly)
Since I last wrote, we have had the funeral. In case you didn't already know, it went very well. Well, sort of. I mean, how can a funeral go "very well"?
Very well: The gospel was preached. The hymns were beautiful. The readings were 2 of my favourites, pointing to hope of life after death. The eulogy was lovely. My singing was adequate, even good, given the occasion. I swear that God was looking after me, and upholding me with all the prayers of my friends. I cried up until about 5 minutes before the eulogy, and cried again once my song was complete. But in between I held it together. The hardest gig of all is to sing at a funeral, and harder still is to sing at a beloved relative's funeral. But yay, I did it!
The 3 relative pillars of my life - my aunt/cousins/rest of Mum's relatives, my Dad/rest of Dad's relatives, my Mum/sister, didn't really interact or fight at the funeral. It was such a relief for me and also for my aunt.
So, since then, I have been fairly wiped out. I drove back on Tuesday afternoon and got home by 5. I was in bed by 6, and asleep by 7pm. I slept for about 11.5 hours. I hadn't really slept well the night before, 5 hours maybe, and of course I was in a strange bed and my brother is an early riser.
Wednesday I got to work by 8am and worked until 7pm. Unfortunately my boss wouldn't let me get out of the manager's meeting, which meant that I was still finishing off things. Bible study was cancelled which was a blessing because I had so much to prepare. After that I went to the gym for about 40 minutes - just did the treadmill really.
Thursday I was training senior leaders. I have only run this training once before, and knew it needed a fair bit of revision, so I had spent a lot of Wednesday afternoon and evening preparing and revising the content. The workshop itself went quite well. I only had 4 leaders I was training so it wasn't very difficult, more conversational, plus I was feeling so relieved from the released tension from the days before.
I finished training the senior leaders by about 3, and then came back to the office to prepare for the next day's training. There wasn't so much preparation, as I have run that training a number of times and am more familiar with the content. I would like to do an overall of the training content, but every time I run out of time as that takes a lot more preparation time than I usually have. Anyway, I still got out of the office by 5.30pm and then caught the bus home. I needed to buy my Mum a birthday present, and I'd been thinking for a while that a book on architecture might be nice, as well as Alain De Botton's The Architecture of Happiness. Anyway, I went via Dymocks at Maroubra and had to fight my way through this "happiness" club. It was a bit bizarre. I then picked up some dinner on the way home (chicken pad see ew) and left it at home while I went for a swim. I'm trying to swim twice a week, but the local pool is only open until 8pm and until 7pm there are no lanes. Of course, UNSW would be better but it's further away and I still have to find parking.
The local pool does the whole chlorine thing badly (Dad, you're much better at it!) and so you can't really swim without goggles. I did about 1.5km but was feeling very sluggish and not very energised. They started putting the covers over the pool which made me feel like they didn't want me to be in there, but I doggedly stuck it out until 7.50pm, when I drove home, had a shower, and ate my dinner (now cooled to a more pleasant warm temperature).
On Thursday night I couldn't sleep, maybe because of the exercise - not sure, so I was up until after 2. Nevertheless, I got up on Friday and was at work by 8.30am. I prepared the final stages of the training with the senior leader who was coming along, and then we headed over to the training. This training went longer and so I didn't finish until 4, and then I did admin-email type stuff until about 5.20pm before heading to the work drinks/dinner at the Madison. I left there about 7.15pm and caught the bus home. Once again, I didn't sleep very well, so once asleep I slept until about 10. Then I got up for a while and chatted to my flatmate, while I ate the yoghurt and muesli (about the only 2 things edible that weren't core ingredients) left in my house. I resolved to do grocery shopping, but then I was so tired I slept for another hour before going to church music practice (I was slightly late because I bought a loaf of bread and some milk at the local petrol station).
I was there until 5ish and then drove home. I slept for another nap and then watched TV. I got to sleep at a more normal time and so woke up at 7.30am this morning.
So far I've done some washing, played with the ferrets, tried on some clothes a friend from work gave me, and checked the internet (FB, Twitter and blogs), and read the supplement in today's paper. Oh, and had breakfast.
Now I need to change over the washing and clean out the ferret stuff, before perhaps starting some study. I'm doing a 3 week online course in student development, which I haven't looked at since before the funeral, and also my PTC, which is of course weeks behind where I should be (what's new?).
Lol.
On other news, Sydney Anglicans had a very good article on Power in Relationships. It's my Mum's birthday, and for the first time since she moved to Sydney, I'm not spending it with her. She's barely talking to me, which is fine, but man, I got so mad with her. I'm so glad she can't bully my grandma anymore. In the article, I recognise behaviour from both of us:
1. Withholding/silent treatment - I do this because it's the only way she listens to me, not that she does, but I try it anyway.
2. Discounting - she does this with my Christianity and my life in general and my father.
3. Accusation and blame. She's always accusing me and blaming me.
4. Judging and criticising.
5. Ordering
6. Threatening.
No wonder our relationship is not healthy. I rang her this morning, and she said she was concerned about me, and that I needed to see a counsellor. I'm ok. She's right about the counsellor, but she's also mostly the cause of the need for the counsellor!!
Sick of it.
CASE had a really good blogpost on Simon & Garfunkel, which I thought was extremely timely given the song I sang on Tuesday.
In other news, Duncan's blog also linked to a good article on Michael Jackson's life. It amazes me the way we seek fame, but it so often destroys.
And finally, 2 awesome things coming up. My friend J is planning a holiday to NZ at the end of August, so I am going to go too. And my friend B has asked me to be her bridesmaid! I have never been a bridesmaid, and it's one of the great sorrows of my life. Not that the role itself is fun or easy, but because I wasn't close enough to anyone to be asked**. But my friend B has asked!!
(** I should say, though, that I'm often the "singer" at the wedding, which is also a privilege I don't take lightly)
Comments
Post a Comment