Attention seeking or seeking attention
As usual, Karen has blogged about a fantastic topic. I started commenting. These are my thoughts...
Dear gorgeous one, I promised I'd think about this and respond. And now I can't sleep (clock currently 1.55am). So why not now?
First thing - I think attention seeking has to do with the nature of God. God is relational - he wants us to be in relationship with each other. As I put it in bible study last week, we are all basket threads in a basket - intertwoven and interlaced with each other. We are designed to relate to each other, to give each other attention. It is fundamental to us as human beings. Did not even our Lord Jesus seek his Father’s attention?
The world, particularly the modern world I think, is isolating. We think that the internet connects us, but really I think the internet removes us from people. Look around a bus or a train - people are not talking to each other anymore. They are absorbed. One of the saddest sights I see is Iphones/other portable devices out with parents, while their children are desperate for their attention. The parent is distracted.
So, given that the internet actually in some senses serves to isolate us, I think that social media is a good remedy for that. It is not the best remedy - the best remedy is true connection with each other - in person - but it's better than nothing.
Anyone who thinks otherwise I think should get their head read. I have some of my best conversations now via facebook instant messenger or gmail (as you know). I rarely want to talk to people on the phone - it feels too hard. But clicking when you see someone on line feels ok.
However, and this is a big however, of course we have elements of narcissism to us. There is a very strong tendency to believe in ourselves, our own thoughts, our own power and our tendency to ...
actually, I'm going to blog about this. I'm scared I'm going to lose my thoughts. check out www.to-live-is-christ.blogspot.com if you want to read the rest.
Continuing…
There is a very strong tendency to believe in ourselves, our own thoughts, our own power, and our tendency to want to feel like we control our lives, and feel like we are the most important person in the world. This leads dangerously into narcissism.
We always need to be conscious of, and consistently reminded of the fact that we are in a community, and what is good for the community is the primary importance. Back to the basket I go. The idea is if you pull out a strand of basket weaving, you disrupt other strands around it. Similarly, if you tweet like you think that nobody will be affected by your tweets, you are sadly delusional (unless of course no one is actually reading your tweets!). We are a community.
The way I’ve seen you use social media, dear Karen, is uplifting for me. Just in the last few days for example, I was alone and in considerable pain, but simply at the other end of the keyboard there you were, saying encouraging things. We always need to use social media socially – I mean socially responsibly. Whether it’s linking to an article (by the way, thanks for the article on college dorms and internet learning – I forwarded that to a senior staff member at my institution and she tweeted it), or whinging, or encouraging, or being funny, we are in community. Behave in community. Care for others in the same way you would care face to face. I think then it can be a powerfully good thing.
Your post, as always, has brought me to a state of thoughtfulness. Actually, in this case, a real state of sadness. I remember being 6 or 7 years old. My parents were screaming at each other. I was desperate for them to stop, and to pay attention to me, because I was scared.
I still link back to that dreadful pain. Sinfulness is a bad, bad thing Karen. Particularly sinfulness when you’re a parent. It has generational consequences.
I’m going away now to hug myself a bit and cry. Looking for that lost and lonely little girl who desperately wanted her parents’ attention.
Dear gorgeous one, I promised I'd think about this and respond. And now I can't sleep (clock currently 1.55am). So why not now?
First thing - I think attention seeking has to do with the nature of God. God is relational - he wants us to be in relationship with each other. As I put it in bible study last week, we are all basket threads in a basket - intertwoven and interlaced with each other. We are designed to relate to each other, to give each other attention. It is fundamental to us as human beings. Did not even our Lord Jesus seek his Father’s attention?
The world, particularly the modern world I think, is isolating. We think that the internet connects us, but really I think the internet removes us from people. Look around a bus or a train - people are not talking to each other anymore. They are absorbed. One of the saddest sights I see is Iphones/other portable devices out with parents, while their children are desperate for their attention. The parent is distracted.
So, given that the internet actually in some senses serves to isolate us, I think that social media is a good remedy for that. It is not the best remedy - the best remedy is true connection with each other - in person - but it's better than nothing.
Anyone who thinks otherwise I think should get their head read. I have some of my best conversations now via facebook instant messenger or gmail (as you know). I rarely want to talk to people on the phone - it feels too hard. But clicking when you see someone on line feels ok.
However, and this is a big however, of course we have elements of narcissism to us. There is a very strong tendency to believe in ourselves, our own thoughts, our own power and our tendency to ...
actually, I'm going to blog about this. I'm scared I'm going to lose my thoughts. check out www.to-live-is-christ.blogspot.com if you want to read the rest.
Continuing…
There is a very strong tendency to believe in ourselves, our own thoughts, our own power, and our tendency to want to feel like we control our lives, and feel like we are the most important person in the world. This leads dangerously into narcissism.
We always need to be conscious of, and consistently reminded of the fact that we are in a community, and what is good for the community is the primary importance. Back to the basket I go. The idea is if you pull out a strand of basket weaving, you disrupt other strands around it. Similarly, if you tweet like you think that nobody will be affected by your tweets, you are sadly delusional (unless of course no one is actually reading your tweets!). We are a community.
The way I’ve seen you use social media, dear Karen, is uplifting for me. Just in the last few days for example, I was alone and in considerable pain, but simply at the other end of the keyboard there you were, saying encouraging things. We always need to use social media socially – I mean socially responsibly. Whether it’s linking to an article (by the way, thanks for the article on college dorms and internet learning – I forwarded that to a senior staff member at my institution and she tweeted it), or whinging, or encouraging, or being funny, we are in community. Behave in community. Care for others in the same way you would care face to face. I think then it can be a powerfully good thing.
Your post, as always, has brought me to a state of thoughtfulness. Actually, in this case, a real state of sadness. I remember being 6 or 7 years old. My parents were screaming at each other. I was desperate for them to stop, and to pay attention to me, because I was scared.
I still link back to that dreadful pain. Sinfulness is a bad, bad thing Karen. Particularly sinfulness when you’re a parent. It has generational consequences.
I’m going away now to hug myself a bit and cry. Looking for that lost and lonely little girl who desperately wanted her parents’ attention.
Hi George,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the extended comment! Some of my disorganised responses:
* You're right that attention seeking has to do with the nature of God. I was trying to capture that in the bit where I talked about being made in God's image--that we are made for relationship and part of that means giving each other attention.
- I like your analogy of the basket. You're good at analogies!
- Social media, in my opinion, works best when it's an extension of real world relationships. That's a subject for a whole other post, I think ...
- You are right about the temptation to narcissism; that's certainly something we must fight against.
- I'm so sad about what you described with your parents :( I hope you were able to comfort yourself in your sadness.