Facebook reads: Georgina is bored, tired and a bit miserable
Mmm, not a good sign.
So the question is, why?
- Spent the day doing stuff but not the primary thing I needed to. I washed, pegged, washed up, picked up, cleaned, dusted, did not vacuum (due to our vacuum cleaner being pronounced dead at the scene), then went out and got a battery replaced, new shoes (as I had inexplicably misplaced one, I repeat one, gym shoe), 2 tops, some earrings, and some groceries. I also read the SMH (my favourite sections being My Career and the Good Weekend), and poked around on the internet. I also converted some CD's to ITunes, which had not been previously converted, as well as re-uploaded two CD's that were skipping and obviously had not been uploaded correctly. In addition to that, I ate breakfast, a late lunch of lollies, and just had dinner of toast, sausages and tomatoes. But all this was not what I was supposed to do, which was study.
- I went to bed at 7pm last night. It was the second night this week I was asleep by 8pm, and several nights I've been asleep by 9pm. I missed bible study again, because I was nearly crying with exhaustion coming home on Wed night. I had Tuesday off work, rec leave, because my boss is not sympathetic and I think he thinks I'm making up the fact that I feel so tired.
- I went to the gym twice this week. Half an hour on the treadmill at 6km/hour and that was it. I was done. I was exhausted. That's so demoralising.
- On Tuesday I spent 3 hours at the pathology lab, doing a test for diabetes (where they make you drink a sugary drink and take your blood several times). I was nearly reduced to tears because of a reason which is a bit personal to blog about, even for me.
- My mother and sister have been in China since Monday. They are taking a 2 week holiday. But I'm worried about them. It's China. It's not a safe country.
- As a result, I am alone tomorrow on Mother's Day. I didn't realise it would affect me this much. I have given Mum my mother's day present, which was a 20cm x 10cm cross-stitch I have been working on since just before Christmas. But being without Mum on mother's day just makes it that much harder. It's not like we have a good relationship, it's because we don't have a good relationship that I am so sad. I wish we got on better. I wish she didn't absolutely drive me completely mad. I wish I could control my temper better around her. I wish she would change and be a normal mother. But none of these things happen. And so I feel sad.
- I'm also worried about this stupid exam. It's in 2 weeks. It's not like it matters if I pass or not. It's all to do with my pride. I want to do well. I'm such a very, very PROUD person. I don't want to be seen as dumb. I don't want to fail. And then there's the good motive. I want to learn the stuff so I'll know my bible better.
- I'm worried about my weight. It's usually controlled because I exercise so much. Being so exhausted, I'm exercising less. Shopping today for clothes made me realise how much I hate my body. I hate my shape. I hate everything about me. It would be better too if I didn't have to share changerooms with thin girls, who complain about things not fitting. Um, hello??? Welcome to my disaster of a body.
- This was reinforced in Rebel Sport when I was in the men's shoes section trying on shoes. Not for me the opportunity to buy girlie sneakers. No, I have to buy the nasty clodhoppery men's ones, and even then, some of them are too narrow and don't fit.
- I'm worried I might have diabetes. I was hoping that by exercising I could avoid some of the problems of being huge. But perhaps not.
- I'm sick of my job. It's exhausting, never ending. It's been so hard with the constant renovations since I came back from leave. But the hardest part is not being able to work as much as normal, because I'm so tired. I'm falling asleep in the bus on the way to work. On the way home. I'm too tired to prepare dinner so I eat take-away or ice cream. Ice cream is not a dinner food. I didn't go anywhere today because I knew I would need to rest. I miss the old me. The one with energy.
So, that kind of explains the status update, doesn't it?
So the question is, why?
- Spent the day doing stuff but not the primary thing I needed to. I washed, pegged, washed up, picked up, cleaned, dusted, did not vacuum (due to our vacuum cleaner being pronounced dead at the scene), then went out and got a battery replaced, new shoes (as I had inexplicably misplaced one, I repeat one, gym shoe), 2 tops, some earrings, and some groceries. I also read the SMH (my favourite sections being My Career and the Good Weekend), and poked around on the internet. I also converted some CD's to ITunes, which had not been previously converted, as well as re-uploaded two CD's that were skipping and obviously had not been uploaded correctly. In addition to that, I ate breakfast, a late lunch of lollies, and just had dinner of toast, sausages and tomatoes. But all this was not what I was supposed to do, which was study.
- I went to bed at 7pm last night. It was the second night this week I was asleep by 8pm, and several nights I've been asleep by 9pm. I missed bible study again, because I was nearly crying with exhaustion coming home on Wed night. I had Tuesday off work, rec leave, because my boss is not sympathetic and I think he thinks I'm making up the fact that I feel so tired.
- I went to the gym twice this week. Half an hour on the treadmill at 6km/hour and that was it. I was done. I was exhausted. That's so demoralising.
- On Tuesday I spent 3 hours at the pathology lab, doing a test for diabetes (where they make you drink a sugary drink and take your blood several times). I was nearly reduced to tears because of a reason which is a bit personal to blog about, even for me.
- My mother and sister have been in China since Monday. They are taking a 2 week holiday. But I'm worried about them. It's China. It's not a safe country.
- As a result, I am alone tomorrow on Mother's Day. I didn't realise it would affect me this much. I have given Mum my mother's day present, which was a 20cm x 10cm cross-stitch I have been working on since just before Christmas. But being without Mum on mother's day just makes it that much harder. It's not like we have a good relationship, it's because we don't have a good relationship that I am so sad. I wish we got on better. I wish she didn't absolutely drive me completely mad. I wish I could control my temper better around her. I wish she would change and be a normal mother. But none of these things happen. And so I feel sad.
- I'm also worried about this stupid exam. It's in 2 weeks. It's not like it matters if I pass or not. It's all to do with my pride. I want to do well. I'm such a very, very PROUD person. I don't want to be seen as dumb. I don't want to fail. And then there's the good motive. I want to learn the stuff so I'll know my bible better.
- I'm worried about my weight. It's usually controlled because I exercise so much. Being so exhausted, I'm exercising less. Shopping today for clothes made me realise how much I hate my body. I hate my shape. I hate everything about me. It would be better too if I didn't have to share changerooms with thin girls, who complain about things not fitting. Um, hello??? Welcome to my disaster of a body.
- This was reinforced in Rebel Sport when I was in the men's shoes section trying on shoes. Not for me the opportunity to buy girlie sneakers. No, I have to buy the nasty clodhoppery men's ones, and even then, some of them are too narrow and don't fit.
- I'm worried I might have diabetes. I was hoping that by exercising I could avoid some of the problems of being huge. But perhaps not.
- I'm sick of my job. It's exhausting, never ending. It's been so hard with the constant renovations since I came back from leave. But the hardest part is not being able to work as much as normal, because I'm so tired. I'm falling asleep in the bus on the way to work. On the way home. I'm too tired to prepare dinner so I eat take-away or ice cream. Ice cream is not a dinner food. I didn't go anywhere today because I knew I would need to rest. I miss the old me. The one with energy.
So, that kind of explains the status update, doesn't it?
I'm sorry G, that sucks. Big hugs.
ReplyDelete(and your finished cross stitch is beautiful! Well done!)
It all sounds very sad. :(
ReplyDeleteIf it helps at all China is quite safe for women. You might get stuff stolen but no-one is going to attack you or anything. I used to walk alone at night in the suburbs of Xi'an all the time; it was the normal thing to do. But it is hard having people so far away so I think it is normal to worry.
Thanks Little. That helps. And thanks Bec too.
ReplyDeleteThat totally sucks :( I'm sorry things are suck at the moment! I hope they get better for you. And I'm glad I get to see you at Bible study tomorrow night! I hope to make it—for at least the dinner party, anyway (it's 3:23 a.m. and I can't sleep. This does not bode well for the rest of today!)
ReplyDelete